'Because I just came back from Iraq'

[An experience I had several months ago.]

I had swallowed half a beer when he came in. Someone had inserted a few coins into the jukebox. It was some new pop song. 'Why would someone pay to listen to a stupid song,' I wondered smugly. He seemed diffident. He sat on a chair against the counter, not far away form where I was sitting. He was introducing himself to everyone around and shaking hands. But his conduct was not that of a leisurely socialising. Rather, he seemed to yearn for reassurance.

'Are you okay?' I was surprised by that question that came toward me. I hesitated a bit and said, 'I am okay. Just enjoying the song.' He continued, as though he did not hear me, 'I am asking because I want to be sure that you are okay over here. You know, I just came back from Iraq.' Everything seemed clearer at once. I turned attentive. 'You are from India, right? I like people from India. Uh.. let me say something in your language. Uh.. naamaste!' I smiled and asked him, 'Why had you been to Iraq? On some business?' I felt stupid as soon as I finished asking the question. Why would he have gone to Iraq? 'Yup, US army.' 'I am sorry, that was a stupid question. It should have been obvious,' I said. 'No, no! You are doing good. Anyway, tell me about yourself. You are so far away from home. You do call your folks everyday, right? Because I know how tough it is to stay away from home. I was in Iraq for the last 18 months.' I didn't know what to say. It's true I am away from home. But that's where the similarity ends. I am not living in my country, but is there any comparison between living a free life in a free country and living in a warzone like Iraq?

He went on, 'Now don't bullshit me. Tell me if you are okay here or not. Because people who come from other countries should be happy here. They should feel they are welcome here.' 'Don't worry about that. This is very much a peaceful country like mine.' He looked a bit satisfied to hear that. 'I am glad to hear what you say. Still, if anybody says anything, or you face any discrimination, don't hesitate to report it. In your university or somewhere... there are people who take care of these things.' 'Well, I haven't really experienced any such thing. And I am sure I wont. Don't worry.' 'That's good. But be careful. You guys are a bit mild. And there are quite a few assholes around... well, you know... there are asshole everywhere.' I laughed and said, 'Oh, don't bother about that. We have them too. In fact, I am sure we have many more assholes in India, simply because we have many more people!'

He was looking much better after all this talk. But it was evident he was totally shaken. I don't know what he had experienced, but surely he had not come out of it still. He asked about my family. Asked if I was married. Although he didn't say anything about it, I sensed a dislocation in his personal/family life. I found myself sitting next to him feeling rather heavy. 'I am still shaken up,' he repeated. He was unsure of everything; was apologetic. He happened to burp, and apologiesed profusely about that. He added, 'Because I came back from Iraq only the other day.' to everything he said. 'Don't worry about that. You are back home,' someone said. But somehow nobody was really interested in him. I don't know why I felt empathy. I too tried to console him that he has come back to his own country. It was odd, though.

He left after a while. As he was leaving, he beckoned the bartender and the people around us, and said, 'Make sure he's okay,' pointing to me repeatedly. They all looked blank. A few even shared a smirk or two. I quickly signalled to them that everything is allright. 'Make sure he's okay, because I just came back from Iraq,' he walked away slowly as he said that.